Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Bad Day

Today was a bad therapy day.

OT was going along fine and it was time to try something new....

It was a new swing, but instead of sitting on it, you hold on and lift up your legs. Zach was willing to try it with his feet on the ground swinging the swing with his arms and swaying forward a little. Ms Jerry wanted him to do more so she began lifting him off the ground, he did not like it! He immediately started shutting down. Next thing I knew she was trying to get him to get words out and he was shaking, then the tears came, then he leaned into hug her but it was a hug like "don't make me do that I'm not letting go" She continued to try to get him to use his words telling him it is okay to say "stop" or "no" but the kid couldn't do it!

Zach stood shaking, his mouth groping to get a sound out, and tears falling drop by drop from his eyes, rolling to the ground.

It was awful - the struggle he had. The moment was one I'd like to forget.

It was so bad, Mommy started crying and had to leave the room.

There are plenty of experiences that I don't want to have in my life. Watching my kid struggle for little things like talking to say "stop" and not being able to do what his peers do is one of those awful experiences that - well, it was an experience I never wanted to deal with. Somehow I manage to find the strength to help him and for that I am thankful!

1 comment:

Jessica said...

I was in your shoes. I wanted nothing more than to hear my child speak. To say anything would have been music to my ears. It killed me to see him struggle and become frustrated. I left the room many times because I couldn't handle seeing him upset. Then it hit me. Of course it didn't hit me until after he spoke his first word. In order for him to produce that word, he needed to be pushed. He needed to be pushed beyond his limit which would push his limit back further. All that frustration and discontent helped him produce that beautiful word. I still watch him struggle and get upset, but I know that that's the path he needs to take to achieve the new goal we set for him. No one wants to see their baby crying. But know that it's for his own good.
You push yourself every day for your children. You go over your threshold on a daily basis because you know that's what is needed to do to get where you want to go. It's the same thing for Zach. He needs that push out of his comfort zone to improve.
I can honestly say that once you start seeing progress with the pushing, then it will slowly get easier. You will never be comfortable with it, but you'll see that it's worth it.
You are such an inspiration to me.