I don't know how to handle all of my emotions.
I don't know how to tell everyone I'm really not as strong as they'd like to think.
I don't know how I'm surviving and keeping my family strong right now.
I don't understand how everyone is so proud of me, and says they admire me.
I don't understand if I'm doing things the right way.
As you can tell I'm having a hard time with all that is about to happen. My fuse is short, my tears are many!
In less then 2 days Zach is having his feeding tube placed. I've found support on a wonderful website but wish I knew someone in person to turn to.
I have the BEST friends in the world who have all offered their support in numerous ways because we don't have family around to help - you know, even if we had family here I think they would all be here anyway! I'm amazed at by how wonderful these people are in my life - and I have no idea what I would do without them! I am so blessed to have them in our lives! I have never known people who are not family to care so much about others, to put themselves out there and really help a family in need - maybe it is something to do with the south - yet most of us are Yankees ;-)
In less then 2 days I will be sitting in the children's hospital watching my son deal with another new struggle in his life. Hopefully a struggle that will help him survive and conquer all of his other struggles.
In less then 2 days I will start learning what our "new normal" will be!
I hope I have the strength to get threw it all!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
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2 comments:
I am a new reader but I wanted to drop a note and say you are in our prayers...
I have said those exact same things myself about my situation. You aren't alone. I know you feel alone. As for your friends, explain to them what you are feeling. If they are offering their ears and support, then take it. They won't be able to understand what you are going through unless you talk to them and let them help in your burden.
You are doing what's best for you and your son. If he is making progress, then you are on the right path for now. That could change in a year or two, but go with your gut. It won't let you down.
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